Shit Ain't Changed on ArmageddonMUD

banme, that would entirely depend on who you ask.


Have you ever considered that some of the sharp edges arose out of a need after being treated like shit by certain staff members?

if you're a staff member, or if staff members are reading this... then they are probably too new to know of a time before Nyr.

i never really had problems with Arm staff outside of one isolated event with vanth, and then Nyr acting like an asshole.  the thing is... Nyr was an asshole to an immense amount of people.


Are you sure that I am not just one of the seemingly dozens of people that Nyr was unnecessarily rude to?  and do you really not see that some of the frustration I have now is pretty much rooted in un apologized behavior that came from a really, really shitty person (nyr)?


he went unchecked, talking shit to people for years.... but then you fuckers have the audacity to blame those he was a dick to?


go back to the IDB/GDB, banme.

and jenki, there is a lot more out there.

Arm is just basically the only "video" game I have played since I was 14.

Haven't even had a game system in years.... if I'm not playing Arm, then I'm NOT playing a game. period.


a lot of these same people who are jerks are ones who have plenty of money and a nice computer. i have never bothered anyone much playing ArmageddonMUD, until provoked.

and after being provoked, it seems like people /besides me/ kept escalating it until there came a critical mass.

i would like to be able to just play the game in peace when i am able to again. without being harassed, harshly judged, criticized rudely... just leave me alone unless you want to be nice (oocly) and have fun.

the biggest loser i've met in CO lived in a mansion, a huge mansion way up above Beaver Creek.

this guy... was a loser.  I worked for him for four years, and despite being King of the Castle and possessing so much inherited wealth that it makes trailer denizens like me confused...

he was a loser.  and alienated literally EVERYONE he employed to work at his "fun" business related to music.

in fact, if you're a musician... you might even recognize the last name:

Moog.


which in the valley where I live, well... you can't throw a rock without hitting someone who that guy has alienated, pissed off, spazzed out on, etc...


Being well adjusted and having a lot of money and support does NOT make you immune to being a loser.

in fact, i might be so bold as to say that never getting your hands dirty AT ALL makes you MORE likely to be a loser.  or to judge other people.  banme.  because it seems like you like to judge people.  which is very easy to do from the anonymity of the internet or when you do not have a complete perspective.



Really, I think there are some people on Arm who would just like to keep out the poors when they don't act EXACTLY how you want them to.  just like that rich asshole who alienated everyone.

i have access to watching TV - satelite - in my living room... and it is almost NEVER on... but i don't turn it on and don't watch it. i've just spent so long without watching any TV or playing any games at all.

i like video games, though. I read kotaku a bunch even though I currently can't afford to play anything on there. it's fun to think about.

$200 Wal Mart special... like I said, I literally have not played any games in a LONG time.

Skyrim is the last game I played a lot, right when it came out, and this dude owed me cash so I grabbed an XBox from him to do that. Didn't play any other games on the system after that.

Before Skyrim? I can't even remember.

and look, i am not trying to throw a pity party. when i was teaching and tutoring at a nonprofit/in my fifth year of tutoring at the CC I eventually taught at... I had money... but I was in a phase of my life where playing games just wasn't something I was interested in...

EXCEPT ArmageddonMUD. because i had always played it, even if not heavily... it was always something in the back of my mind.


Really, normal video games just didn't seem to challenge me as much back then. I realize that technology has come a long way in seven years... and there is probably more out there for me now... but Arm has always just been one of my favorite things, which is maybe why I get upset when I feel like i am being marginalized from it.

Maybe I brought marginalization upon myself, but i would rather it be this way than to feel like i was just some tagalong piece of shit who was in the way. and i have been made to feel like that, and worse, for what seems to me little or no reason.

anyway, i appreciate the offer, smokey. i just need to unfuck myself before i think of picking up new games.

And I will say this:

it might seem stupid even writing this much about a game that i dont play and do not intend to immediately play again... but it sure as fuck beats obsessing over the Drug War, weed, etc... despite the fact that, as grumble pointed out, people DO listen to me when I write about that shit. smart people. combat veterans, felons, teachers (HS & college), activists, advocates... they really do pay attention and listen to what i have had to say about the Drug War,

but on the other hand, it hurts a lot to keep wallowing in it despite the fact people MUST speak up for mass incarceration in the United States of America to STOP... it hurts to keep reliving the pain from the Drug War, and it drives me crazier and has driven me way further over the edge than a text based roleplaying game ever could.

at the end of the day, i am glad to be able to take a break from trying to change people's minds about all that inane crap... it is much better to be able to play or at least write about a text based roleplaying game. Feels like a burden off my damn shoulders, and even though its assuredly escapist, it's a break i REALLY needed.


Real life changes people. Real life has made me realize that there IS a lot of stuff that is just WRONG in this world... and that NONE of it will change unless people DO SOMETHING.


The Drug War taught me that the hard way. it taught me that too many good people have had their lives destroyed just because other people didn't "have a pair" big enough to *make the bullshit stop*. And I guess that lesson has definitely carried over to ArmageddonMUD despite the fact that the Drug War's insanity is far more crushing and Real than nessalin or adhira's ever could be. but that does not mean that the latter should go without being addressed; it should, if you actually care about the game anyway.

Even people beyond Malken who KNOW BETTER, like Malifaxis, have tried to make me feel like I "got what I deserved" in the Drug War, making all these underhanded remarks about me "learning my lesson" when it comes to drugs.


Hey, no... maybe if MORE people, NOT LESS, had "grown a pair" and stood up to the onslaught of mass incarceration in the United States... we wouldn't be the bloody fucking hypocrites who wave our flags and masturbate to how FREE we are while INCARCERATING MORE PEOPLE THAN RUSSIA OR CHINA.


Give me a FUCKING BREAK... trying to rub it in on someone because they stood up for something?  Take that shit to the trash can, bro.


It's not JUST people like malken... even people who aren't as obnoxious and who are WAY SMARTER wlll try to throw you under the bus just because they don't fully understand what you've gotten yourself into

...because it did not affect THEM or THEIR FRIENDS personally.


Those kinda people... I'm not going to say they're all bad people, but they are 95% naive of shit going down in the U.S. JUST BECAUSE it wasn't affecting them specifically and individually.

Would make sense that Malken got spared. I just spotted a mistake by malken thanking those who welcomed him as the new staff but he quickly removed it and now its gone.