Post by desertman on Oct 13, 2016 9:20:37 GMT -5
If you care to see why, you can see it here: LINK it's all still there, every post, because nothing I posted even garnered enough merit in terms of "being against the rules" to even be edited out/moderated.
I sent in a request asking to be un-banned since nothing I posted was against the rules, obviously. It was an unpopular opinion/truth, sure, but not against the rules. The fact it is still there un-moderated in any form days later and other people are still talking about it says everything.
*cough* mal *cough*
I do have some opinions about what you posted over there. I'll start by saying that hanging around folks who make consistent sexist/racist remarks makes me very uncomfortable, at the very least, regardless of context.
Racism is pretty rare this far north though. And I'm pretty young. I can see someone being older (thirties, forties, etc. I think each generation gets a touch less racist/sexist) and living down south having to put up with people talking like that. A lot of the country is racist/sexist, and that comes across more in some situations. So is it fair to say that Donald Trump is some kind of normal for saying racist or sexist things? In some parts of America, probably. Texas comes to mind. I mean I don't exactly see eye to eye with you, but I hardly think that expressing that thought should be a bannable. You're probably accurately representing the area that you're in. People there will say stupid shit like Trump, and you're going to have a good time with the friends you can have opposed to punching someone in the face every time you hear something stupid - in your case, a lot. So you could see yourself having a laugh with Trump because, being accustomed to said bigotry/whatever, it's not a criteria that's realistic for you to use when seeking company. It makes him seem normal because it's normal there. I can see that. Some parts of America are much more racist/sexist than others. Maybe you're close to a few baptist churches lol.
It hasn't been my experience that it's normal everywhere for the guys to say racist/sexist things while having a good time. That sucks that it is there.
I actually think Trump says some stuff like that to a) get media attention and b) to get votes of a large portion of our country that is sexist/racist/etc. He has a huge marketing team, money behind it, and has been planning this for years. He's being advised on walking the narrow line between getting the votes of said demographic and not getting the votes of all other republicans. That said, it takes a certain amount of legitimate racism, I think, to be willing to use it as a marketing strategy. So he's not off the hook. Definitely misogynistic too, but I think that loses focus with racism in sight. And to anyone who would say that he's obviously a racist/sexist bigot to all, I assure you that there are Republicans voting for him that do not think so. My mother is one ("Being obnoxious isn't a crime," best reason to vote for a president I'm sure). Apparently, he's walking that line to some success.
I don't want to talk about Trump really, but for this conversation I will have to, somewhat.
It was never actually about Trump. I do not care about Trump, I think he's a shitbag, and won't be voting for him.
My only point was that the reality is guys in "guy settings" say shit like this all of the time. That doesn't mean every guy everywhere has to say things like this in order to "be a guy". But it does mean that this is a reality. At least, this is a reality for me. So yeah, you are right, this is somewhat normalized for me.
What I was guilty of was forgetting the social group I was presenting the idea to.
I have two social groups. Guys I spend time with IRL, almost exclusively at the gym, and my gaming/internet friends who are...less testosterone driven and certainly less crude, I suppose.
I have guys I train with at a cage fighting gym and I've been there for many years. I hear some of the best insults and jokes ever, in my opinion, come from these guys.
Here's a good example of one that was so funny at the time I had to actually stop training to laugh along with several other people.
"Don't worry D-Man, feel free to fight back, but I'm going to hit you the way I fuck your sister. Hard and fast and until you are unconscious.". This being said for laughs by a guy I've got 40lbs and years of experience on, which was the reason it was said....because it was stupidly goofy and funny given the context.
That's the sort of thing I'm accustom to hearing. That is regular life for me. Sure that joke is "rapey", but it is not promoting rape, due to the setting.
A) The guy who said this to me is a great guy I've known for years who would beat your ass if you ever said anything like that in front of a woman. Not even to a woman. Just in front of a woman.
B) I recognize this as a joke because I'm not an idiot, or some sort of militant/extremist social warrior on the internet.
My only point was, "You are saying this guy is promoting raping and assaulting women. He's not. From what I can tell he's in a private conversation with another dude who is laughing at his silly bragging bullshit, and that's what I see this conversation as. A silly fucker bragging about shit to my knowledge he doesn't actually do in order to make this other guy continue to laugh.".
(I have seen Trump at a lot of rallies on TV. I haven't seen him walk up and randomly grab any gal by the pussy yet which is what he was saying he did. Again, not defending Trump or promoting him. Just stating a fact. I don't think he actually does this regularly, which is what his silly bragging goofy bullshit was saying in his conversation. So....I see silly bragging/joking bullshit that he doesn't actually do. Thus, I see a stupid joke told in the context of telling a stupid joke to a seemingly receptive listener in a private conversation not meant for a mixed audience that might be offended.)
What I was guilty of was forgetting my audience. I recognize that with zero reservations or excuses. I never should have expressed that opinion, to that audience.
I expressed an opinion one of my regular social groups would agree with without question to my other social group that instantly saw and heard, "Desertman promotes raping and assaulting women.", even though that was never said. Not even close. My error was not realizing this group would hear that, no matter what was actually said.
So yeah, I'm not saying I'm without guilt, I am absolutely guilty of presenting the wrong idea to the wrong group. However, that's not against the rules. Saying things people don't agree with isn't against the rules, no matter how extreme their disagreement is.
I'm sorry I upset them, but, they are upset about something that was never said or promoted, no matter what they chose to hear/turn it into based on their own social/political agendas and feelings.