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Post by Prime Minister Sinister on Feb 27, 2014 1:49:03 GMT -5
So....
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delerak
GDB Superstar
PK'ed by jcarter
"When you want to fool the world, tell the truth." - Otto Von Bismarck
Posts: 1,656
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Post by delerak on Aug 19, 2014 5:57:38 GMT -5
Yeah so this just happened.
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Post by BitterFlashback on Aug 19, 2014 6:38:38 GMT -5
My impression is all this talk about Arm and SoI and your MUD is to blame. You may have seemed all over the place. But I believe wht was going on there was all around one core theme: Arm's wasted potential. i may be overstepping my bounds a bit (not that I care but I do feel i should acknowledge it) but Id be surprised if anyone here hating on Arm wasnt at least semi-motivated by their knowledge their experience could have been incredible. But wasnt. And probably because of the staff, the shithead players mixed in with the awesome players, and/or the fucking GDB. the more Arm reminds me of how much it sucks in spite of so much it has going for it, the more my motivation to make a MUD rises. When I am not keeping track of whats going on I rapidly forget why I wanted to make a mud. And it's not to steal Arm's players or any shit like that. It's to make what Arm reminds me is possible but for some insane reason never done in RPI MUDs. It's a large part of why i suspect you're compulsively staying up, trying to find a way to interact with Arm. Being partially out of commission because of your foot is probably contributing to that desire. Doing less leaves a person feeling like they need to do soemthing. And Arms wasted potential is a huge thing to latch onto. Id recommend just working on your own forum. Rejoinng Arm will just frustrate you. Trying to destroy it could be done easily and legally; just make a new account, kiss ass up to a staff seat, and turn into Nyr II. The playerbase couldnt tolerate Nyr in stereo. But that wouldnt get rid of what I still suspect is a constructive/positive urge.
As an aside: the people fucking with you instead of confirming shit were probably extroverts. as a severe introvert I can tell you we don't start shit with people in public without exhausting private options first because public means more people. And fuck people. What a bunch f bastards.
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Post by Prime Minister Sinister on Aug 20, 2014 20:02:53 GMT -5
This.
Especially for a game I've played for damn near half my life, this is the hardest pill to swallow.
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Post by topkekm8s on Aug 20, 2014 20:11:05 GMT -5
better things will come brothers
have faith, nothing is permanent, not even nyr!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 20:44:26 GMT -5
Yeah so this just happened. Thank you for the videos. Not at all to attack you... do you ever feel like an addict?
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Post by nyrsucks on Aug 20, 2014 21:11:27 GMT -5
I think I hear a sadness in your voice and I think I feel it too.
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Post by lulz on Aug 20, 2014 21:31:23 GMT -5
I remember the old board too Del, the community definitely felt more warm and relaxed.
The good ole days of da mitey warrior and uglydeathelf.
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Post by jcarter on Aug 20, 2014 21:33:19 GMT -5
i miss the love of my life callisto
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Post by lulz on Aug 20, 2014 21:38:10 GMT -5
Your dad seems cool as fuck by the way (after the vid ended I clicked on the one of him boxing).
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Post by jcarter on Aug 20, 2014 21:52:51 GMT -5
delerak's dad seems like the kind of pop who would give you a jab to the stomach when he would pass you in the hallway and be like 'heh always gotta be ready!!'
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Post by BitterFlashback on Aug 20, 2014 22:17:56 GMT -5
delerak: It was late and I said "forum" for some reason. i meant to advise you to work on your own MUD. Just noticd that mistake now.
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Post by picklehead on Aug 20, 2014 23:39:49 GMT -5
This.
Especially for a game I've played for damn near half my life, this is the hardest pill to swallow.
..ya.. played since '94, was an imm for awhile. When I was just getting started, Sanvean was just some whiran named Alkyone and Takryn and Tasha were roaming around in a wagon. And some guy named Ra, a fire mage, was recruiting and causing trouble. It was a vastly different game in those days, but I digress. I remember when I played (which was from those days until fairly recently), there was a feeling that anything was possible. And isn't that the whole point of shit like this? To roleplay a character where anything was possible if you put in the effort to make it happen? I loved playing indies. Was involved in several indie projects, with varying success. Some with more staff support than others, but always there was that POTENTIAL! That feeling just isn't there anymore, I don't think. Your vlog made me kind of sad, Del. By your own admission you've done some seriously stupid shit in the past. Shit worthy of negative repercussions (shit I would have banned you for myself, though probably not permanently). But you know that. As quoted, I think your sadness and frustration stems from the fact that the potential that used to be there no longer exists. That's the tragedy. This game could be so much.. it could transcend the fact that it's a text-based game in a digital and graphical world, by offering book-worm/writer types (awful phrasing, I know) with a creative gaming outlet. Instead it hamstrings itself by removing the POTENTIAL for creativity and character advancement and forces most characters to be shoe-horned into the rigid environment that the current imms have set. Sad.
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delerak
GDB Superstar
PK'ed by jcarter
"When you want to fool the world, tell the truth." - Otto Von Bismarck
Posts: 1,656
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Post by delerak on Aug 20, 2014 23:58:23 GMT -5
Nah. I don't think I've ever been addicted to a game. Like I had to have it. That's kind of ridiculous. Though if any game came close to "addiction" for me it wasn't Arm it was Diablo. I can say I was probably lightly addicted to that game the first 6 months of its release in 99.
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delerak
GDB Superstar
PK'ed by jcarter
"When you want to fool the world, tell the truth." - Otto Von Bismarck
Posts: 1,656
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Post by delerak on Aug 21, 2014 0:05:53 GMT -5
Thanks for the comments guys. Makes me feel like I didn't waste a few hours staying up to do the vid.
And yeah I think I was/am sad about Arm for sure. I mean I'm kind of laid up right now so everytime I injure myself I get pissed/sad/frustrated or whatever but I've always been less than happy the way things ended with Arm for me. Such wasted potential. And I don't say that potential about the game but I say that about me. I was a serious waste of potential at Arm and I feel like I wasn't ever taken seriously and not that I should have been considering I'm a goofy fuck. I think that I had the potential to do a lot of great things but that wasn't fostered and instead of growing into a good player I just burned up in the poisonous community that is Arms GDB and the way the staff interacted with me.
I really wish I had some logs to show you guys how much harassment I endured by the staff during my tenure at Arm. It was almost weekly and daily I would get transferred about some random shit that I had nothing to do with in reality. It was these interactions at the time with the big timers like halaster, bhag, sanvean, nessalin, etc. that led me to realize I wasn't alone in the fact of me having issues with communicating with them and that is when you start chatting people up on aim and at least finding others who share in your anger/frustration with the staff back then. It was them (the staffers I mentioned) just wanting to bully me and use their "power" as administrators to satisfy whatever feeling they got by demeaning me at the time. San wasn't as bad as the rest and usually was reasonable with me but the others would just fly off the handle at me like I was their daily punching bag on Arm if they had a bad day at work or some shit.
It's a vicious cycle and what is even worse the staff breed it themselves. When they tell us not to talk about shit or not to do this or not to do that naturally we want to do it so we will eventually find players on aim, chat about this or that, and it goes from there. I wouldn't bat an eye nowadays about logging into Arm with several friends connecting to skype conference call and roaming around the mud while skyping. Coordinating OOC to do shit because that's what the staff forces you to do almost with their utter lack of vision.
I don't know I'm rambling again maybe another video is in order.
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