Yes, but it's been a couple of weeks and not a single staffer has so much as bothered to send me an email saying that they're sorry it came to this. The response to the staff complaint I put in was resolved with a snarky remark. They had every opportunity to try and resolve it, or if they feel that they're in the right, to try and talk me out of my position. Yet they don't care.
In a thread a year ago (where I outed myself) I said:
--- If your expectations are that you're playing a fair game, well, you're going to be pretty disappointed. All of the rules are arbitrarily enforced. There's a caste system between the old players and the new, the "new" being anyone who hasn't played for 10+ years. Understand that you are there to be a redshirt for the stories of the old players and either have fun within that system or go find another game. I've tried to find another game, and there isn't one that's coded as well or as active. So each time I come back to Arm. And I tend to have fun UNTIL I bump up against that glass ceiling of "you're not one of our favorites so we're going to ignore you at best, or shit on you at worst."
But I'm not willing to cut off my nose to spite my face. Until the game becomes unplayable, I find something better, or staff does something so egregious that I can't get over it ... then Arm's my game.
Sometime between last year and the current present I changed my expectations of the game. That's where I went wrong. And I think, "why did I bother playing nicely?"
When Polain and his crew had Morghu injured and on foot outside of Allanak, I had managed to evade them long enough to have noquit wear off. I could have just quit out in the wilderness there and waited until the next day to log in. But I didn't. I thought that wasn't fair to them. They'd set a trap, they'd roleplayed their parts and they'd all shown up to kill this northern dwarf ... let's let them have a fair go at it.
Even with my very last character, the "aging, derelict of a man" I was the same way. I escorted two elves to Red Storm to rob some apartments and Mors caught them. Mors and some other guy were waiting at the gate at dawn to kill me and I thought, "I could just go back to the stable and quit out, come back tomorrow." But no, I thought, "it's more fair to make a run for it and give them their fair chance." And so I lost my third character to Mors.
And now I question why I ever bothered at all. All those characters that I let live in PK situations who simply went out and got someone bigger to come after me ... or all those times I said, "*I* know it's a trap I'm being lured into but my character wouldn't so I'm going to roleplay my character instead."
It wasn't noticed. They didn't care. I should have just played to have the fun I wanted to instead of trying to play fair in a crooked system.
Shakes I want you to consider for a moment the situation that any sympathetic staff are in...
1. Administration has shown they will use pixel trackers. 2. Administration has shown they may be willing to harass people. 3. Administration has shown they are willing to use paper thin links to profile people.
Now with these 2 facts and a maybe in mind what is the risk to a staffer to reach out to a player who has just 'rage-quit' or simply quit? You could announce that you've been contacted. You could say who contacted you. You could be a fake meant to get people to message with identity revealing information. They cannot do anything to change the outcome and contacting you could backfire on them so... I think you get my point, I wouldn't take it personally.
As to the Mors thing and feeling like you did the right thing only to be shafted. I know people who have played with your characters. I even pinged them I'm like hey this player (list of pcs) quit. They're like oh that sucks I've RPed with them and did this scheme on or with them. They had nothing negative to say about you even the ones who may have had reasons to kill you or betray you. TLDR People may have killed you but I do not believe they disliked you oocly or thought you were trash. They were just RPing and appreciated/enjoyed your interactions.
I just used Mors as an example. He's so long lived I've interacted with him through MANY of my characters. I've been against him, I've been on his side, then I've been against him again. As many times as he's killed me ... he's also helped me.
It's the same with Nektol. It seems like he either kills me or orchestrates me being killed a lot because he's just a glass ceiling for certain elements of the game. You play in/around Red Storm? Mors and his coded power are your glass ceiling. You play in Allanak? It's Nektol. You play in the north? It's Nine.
My style of play was always "punching up". Sure, some people with lesser coded power than me would get killed, but I radically preferred being the lone guy going after an entire organization. I never had expectations that I would succeed at that. I like stories of characters who challenge power structures.
When I got into it with Shalooonsh over the Two Moons bullshit, Shabago Brokkr and some other storyteller both pulled me aside into a non-gameworld room to talk about it. No, I didn't log it because that was a private conversation not a game event. Shalooonsh was rude and abrasive, accusing me of gaslighting the whole issue. Brokkr was conciliatory but absolutely disinterested. He left early in the conversation to go do something else. And the other storyteller was very sympathetic, but absolutely powerless, just trying to convince me not to quit. At the end Shalooonsh got to do what he wanted and I was told if I didn't like it then I should just leave. But I foolishly felt honored that they'd at least taken the time to discuss it with me, not realizing the discussion wasn't genuine.
I do take this personally though. They said, "do this" and I made a huge effort to do this. I got responses back from them that indicated I was succeeding at what they told me to do. And then at the end they told me I hadn't done it. I have felt like I was a good member of the community and added a lot to the game. Someone had even talked me into applying for a helper role next month and I was going to do that since I'd noticed that helper chat was almost always empty lately. I feel like I put my best foot forward and I was not only shit on, but those who also felt like I was being shit on didn't care enough to say anything about it. Not even in private.
ETA: Checked my notes and it wasn't Shabago. He wasn't involved. It was Brokkr. Turns out I did have a log of this after all.
That's how Armageddon staff treats loyal players, eventually. Even the best-played characters have staff mumbling and grumbling about them.
If you're reading this, and you have never had a problem with staff, it's not a matter of "if", but "when". If someone who can contribute to a clan's well-being and activity can be blackballed, what is protecting you?
Since finding and rereading the log ... I think I'm going to post it. It's messy and unaltered. I don't think it's completely fair to some of the people involved because they didn't ask for this shit, they didn't cause this shit, and they didn't have any power to change it yet still tried to help. I'm talking about Akariel. That storyteller seemed like they TRIED.
mehtastic: Sure, but you don't actually know for sure if it's the player, or someone else inspired by the player's style. Staff know for sure, 100% of the time, who is playing whom. That's the difference.
Sept 5, 2019 10:53:34 GMT -5
delerak: the player base for arm has alwayus been small overall. it is almost guarnateed if you sort the memberlist for the gdb by posts the top 10-20 posters have been or currently are on staff with alternate names.
Sept 5, 2019 11:37:11 GMT -5
delerak: it's nice to be 'anonymous' in game though. players will absolutely go after you if they know you got them before in years gone byt
Sept 5, 2019 11:37:55 GMT -5
qwerty: While proooobably true
Sept 5, 2019 12:40:31 GMT -5
qwerty: I try not to think this way. A bit of a self delusion potentially, but it makes it for a much better gameplay
Sept 5, 2019 12:40:47 GMT -5
qwerty: If you just stop thinking about all the ooc bullshit and just fucking play the game
Sept 5, 2019 12:41:01 GMT -5
qwerty: and if someone is unexplainably hostile to you for no good reason. Chalk it off to being an asshole and slit their throat
Sept 5, 2019 12:41:42 GMT -5
qwerty: All in all, in my observation. OOC relativity comes about cliques, then hostility. As in, players might not care if you offed their previous character. But they might like and include another PC whom they talk to more often ooc.
Sept 5, 2019 12:42:44 GMT -5
qwerty: But again. You cant control it. Cant prove it. The nagging suspicion will ruin your gameplay. I just try not to worry about it and react to the gameworld events as if there is no ooc influence. Doing anything else makes for a really shitty experience
Sept 5, 2019 13:01:26 GMT -5
qwerty: You cant stop people from talking ooc. And if people talk ooc, it's bound to happen that they cooperate ooc. Or ... or not. But you wont know and therefore, you'll suspect. And this suspicion will kill the game for you.
Sept 5, 2019 17:46:21 GMT -5
qwerty: 4/5 times someone rages against staff, staff had nothing to do with it. It's just number one suspicion people go to.
Sept 5, 2019 17:47:19 GMT -5
mehtastic: Ignorance is bliss.
Sept 5, 2019 17:50:44 GMT -5
delerak: I recently accused staff of some nonsense. They showed me the log and I felt embarrassed. It's hard to shake the paranoia of days gone by when you were slayed by staff for going afk and using a script to forage wood.
Sept 5, 2019 18:32:02 GMT -5
jkarr: look east. near: agafari forest. far: agafari forest. very far: the ghost of halaster is here grinning evilly
Sept 5, 2019 22:30:43 GMT -5